One of These Days, He's Going to Get Beaten Up

And it's going to be because he has no social graces. Here is a list of people Luke has called "Little Guy" in the past week, in the third person, but to their face:

* A college soccer team, getting off of a bus at the outlet mall. "Are those little guys going shopping?"

* Two really big guys at a Greek restaurant. They looked like they could bench press my husband. "Are those little guys eating dinner?"

* Two men in a public restroom, who were occupying the stalls Joe and Luke were waiting to use. "Are the little guys going potty?" Making Joe feel equally awkward were Luke's praises after he used the potty like a big boy. "Good job, Daddy!"

* The pediatrician the other day, as he was putting data into the computer. "Is the little guy on the computer?" He's in the military and he knows how to kill you with his bare hands. And besides, everybody should be walking on eggshells around military doctors these days--we all know the "stress" makes them want to kill people, so ixnay on the "little guy".

* An illustration of Jesus in Luke's book about the loaves and fishes. "Is the little guy talking about God?" I don't think you should call a man big enough to save your soul "little guy".

Here is a list of whom Luke has called "Big Guy" in the last week:

* George, his five-month-old brother.