Between the hours of 2:00 and 5:00, I'm usually listening to the Dr. Laura show, thanks to the magic of satellite radio. I adore her wisdom and her morals. Also, I get a sense of satisfaction hearing about other people's problems.
It was during her broadcast yesterday that Luke looked up at me and said, "My Mommy is my girlfriend." My heart melted, of course. After a minute of congratulating myself for being so divine that my son would say that about me, I started to wonder if he should even know that word yet. Then it dawned on me, he probably heard it on the radio. Dr. Laura's listeners often start their calls by saying, "I am my kids' mom" or "I am my husband's girlfriend."
We've been working with him lately on recognizing who is a girl and who is a boy. The main reason for this is that he keeps calling everybody "he" when we're out in public, and he talks about people as if they can't hear them, even though they can. So he's got it down pat that he and George and Daddy are boys and Mommy is a girl.
He also knows what a friend is. Usually, he tells me that his best friend is Dolley, our basset hound. Apparently, Luke thinks that someone who habitually steals your breakfast constitutes a best friend.
So there I am, my son calling me his girlfriend, and all the other words and phrases that are frequently used on the Dr. Laura show hit me like a ton of bricks. "Unpaid whore," "crap," "bitchy." Dr. Laura doesn't say these phrases for the sake of using expletives, but uses them to really illustrate her callers' behavior. She's blunt.
I thought for a moment that maybe Luke is so impressionable now that I can no longer listen to this program. But the temptation to keep listening is overwhelming me because maybe, if he listens long enough, he'll start to call me his "Shack-up honey." And who wouldn't love that?
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And, he'll learn valuable lessons, like "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
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