Things That Keep Me From Blogging

Well, I'm here at my parents' house, which some (all) of us McRoberts kids have fondly referred to as "Fat Camp" from time to time. Mom is an avid Weight Watchers and Jazzercise participant, and a sassy little slip of a woman to boot, so it goes without saying there are no good snacks here, and everyone eats the proper number of fruit and vegetable servings per day. Mom, I love you.

I'm not going to apologize for not blogging. That would be really arrogant. Especially since there are, like, six of you who read this thing, and I doubt it makes or breaks your day. But since I got called out on facebook for not blogging (Hi, Kelly!), I thought I'd share what's kept me offline:

1. Napping. The kind of nap that you wake up from with drool smeared all over your cheek.

2. Having beautifully-arranged trays of tea with rock candy swizzle sticks, muffins, and catalogs delivered to my door after said naps. My mom has spoiled me with these treats that she prepares while my delightful children gnaw on her ankles and break things. I'm starting to feel like a real diva with this treatment, and I suspect it'll be a mere two weeks before I start throwing cups of tea at her, citing an unsatisfactory temperature or strength of tea.

3. Watching my mom glue things back together. Namely, antique ceramic urns that no doubt bring back precious memories of shopping trips she took with her friends while we lived in Germany.

4. Jazzercise! (Insert jazz hands and top 40 dance music I've never heard before.) I joined. It's actually kind of a hard workout, especially for someone who got salmonella while baking Christmas cookies, and was still riding on that excuse for not exercising...until I got to Fat Camp.

5. Receiving free babysitting from my parents and in-laws. It's fun seeing how the other half lives! I'm so relaxed having had a break, I've practically forgotten about my motherhood responsibilities. My mom called me on my way out of Jazzmatazz this morning to inform me that I needed to stop by the store and get George a new pacifier. And I'm all, "George who? I don't know any George...oh wait, that's right, sure, I'll stop."

6. Doing lunch at the Williamsburg Inn. (Imagine me saying this in my best condescending I-have-to-explain-everything-to-you voice) The Williamsburg Inn...you know...where Queen Elizabeth stays when she comes...Anyway, my mother and I got to go for lunch yesterday while my mother-in-law took the kids. I wore nylons for the first time in ages. A little bubbly with lunch? You bet! Warm chocolate cake with peppermint ice cream delivered to our table with a sterling gravy boat full of hot fudge for dessert? Don't mind if I do! When we go to the Williamsburg Inn, I like to try on different ladies-who-lunch-type statements for size. "Well, he could have at least had the decency to file taxes before he dropped dead on her," may or may not have come out of my mouth. I felt pretty convincing. After lunch, as mom and I were "lipping up" in the ladies' room, I told her, "If I seemed like a space cadet during lunch, it's because I was eavesdropping on the ladies next to us." She replied, "Yeah, that was some divorce!" We're cut from the same cloth, my mom and I.

7. Baking my dad a pumpkin pie. It's his favorite, and I expect that this will help my standing in his will. I should point out (since he reads my blog) that I don't recall either of my siblings ever making him a pumpkin pie. We have a secret family recipe that we don't share. When my best friend from JMU tried it, she asked for the recipe. I told her that it's supposed to stay in the family. In response, she set her sister up with my brother, and I promised to have the recipe card written at the wedding. They had no idea they were pawns in a pumpkin pie scheme. They dated, but didn't make it, so Erin, come on down for some pie after the snow storm!

8. The fact that my dad turns off the computer every time he uses it. His radar for an idle computer is as strong or stronger than his radar for thermostat increases, so after any of the rest of us use it and leave it on, he's right there behind us to turn it off. Since I'm too lazy to boot up, I just stay off the computer for the most part.

So there you have it!