Tales of Brotherly Jealousy

Once upon a time, there were twin brothers, Esau and Jacob, whose parents were Jacob and Rebekah. The twins had spent their entire lives, including the time in Rebekah's womb, fighting. Esau was burly and kind of dumb, while Jacob was clever and kind of wimpy.

One night, Esau came home from a long day of hunting. He was completely famished. Jacob, who had been cooking dinner, offered him some stew in exchange for Esau's birthright. Esau went for it.

Years later, as Isaac laid on his deathbed, he called for Esau so he could give him his blessing. With Rebekah's help, Jacob used goat skins to disguise himself as Esau (Esau was one hairy son-of-a-gun) and received his blessing. Esau became so jealous, his shouting shook the walls of their tent. Rebekah sent Jacob to spend time with her family so Esau could cool down. It took twenty years.

Similarly, there were two brothers named Luke and George. George's first birthday was approaching, and some presents arrived in the mail. "Can I open that present?" asked Luke. "No," his mother, Laura, told him, "Those are George's birthday presents."

"But can I open them?" he persisted. "NO," said Laura, "They belong to George. He will open them on his birthday."

"Can I open them on his birthday?" he asked. "Fine," Laura replied, "You can open George's presents on his birthday, and he will open your presents on your birthday."

Luke thought for a moment and replied, "George will open his presents on his birthday."

A few days later, Laura overheard Luke telling his father, Joe, "Me and George are having a birthday soon and we're both going to open some presents." Laura found the closest wall and started beating her head against it repeatedly.

Laura thought to herself that if her parents weren't travelling to Mississippi for the blessed occasion of George's birthday, she would probably send Luke to their house as a preventive measure. But she resolved that if Luke showed up to George's party wearing goat skins, she would at least send him to a neighbor's house for a couple of hours.